One of my new year’s resolutions is to write more. I swapped Facebook for LinkedIn and mindless scrolling or tv watching for blogging. The weight of an unproductive day sits with me in bed. I hadn’t planned to share personal stuff here, but I do enjoy getting an authentic glimpse into bloggers lives, their anxieties, their heartaches. Not that I in any way exult in someone else’s struggles or failures, but I find hearing about them comforting because then I’m not the only one.
My sister told me about a Berkeley prof who took time off from college. Glad I’m not the only one who needed a break from school, albeit grad school in my case. And it turns out that break will be longer than expected. I’m not in classes now. I can’t start them until September or August when my classes are offered again. There are no structured, busy days ready made for me.
Instead, there’s an abyss of time for me to fill. At least, I’m waking up early, beating my alarm even and going to the gym first thing. Something about winter dampens my energy on occasion. The cold deters me from leaving my apt and makes me want to do things from my bed like I am now, eyes threatening to stay closed with each lingering blink. Today was an outlier, one day of listlessness. I couldn’t focus in on or feel a sense of purpose in charging forward with my job search. In my caffeine induced sleep deprived state, I mindlessly scrolled through job postings.