Prior to my breakup I was fine with the status quo: continuing to live in Chicago, my cushy flexible part-time job and the state of my relationship. For at least a month our relationship was in this grey area where he had technically broken up with me, yet we continued to act the same in every way, minus the label and commitment that comes with actually being together. The past few months have been a time of coming to terms with the direction our relationship was going and cutting myself off from the temptation of still being in contact. Simultaneously, I’ve realized that I’m actually not satisfied with the state of my life and job. My roommate and I eat way too many snacks and frozen Trader Joe’s meals in lieu of cooking dinner. Though if you ask her, she’ll say that I eat more snacks/unhealthily than she does. My job is not busy or challenging enough. I thought I couldn’t wait to finish grad school, but now I’m missing writing news articles and the hunt for a good story. Editing for an ophthalmology department does not give me the same thrill or sense of accomplishment. I want a job where I’m producing creative content.
So going forward here’s my to-do list for 2018:
- Get a new job that I love. Unsure if it’ll be in journalism or in Chicago, we’ll see.
- Cook and eat real food instead of opening bags of snacks and microwaving frozen dinners. This should help with the fact that people have been commenting on how much weight I’ve lost lately and asked for my secrets. Like I said, this breakup is the best weight loss method ever, except I didn’t want to lose weight nor was I trying to. .
- Meet the love of my life this year if I haven’t already. Yes, I’m aware that this one is not fully in my control, but I will show up to every church conference and event possible this year and generally be open to meeting new people through friends or the new job. I’ve learned that I’m good at loving and caring for someone and I look forward to receiving that same level of love and care back. He might be reading this, but I’ve realized my ex was selfish and cared more for himself and his goals than for me. Oh well.
- GET A PET!!!!!! I’ll have made it in life when this happens.
- Publish some news articles this year whether it’s through a job/internship or freelancing.
- Make new memories by exploring Chicago while I’m still here and by having lots of fun with my roommates and group of church friends in our community. Check! Out with the old memories that haunt me and in with the new. My roommate and I have a new ritual of lighting candles and eating TJ’s snacks while watching “The Gates.”
That’s about it. The enormous upside of feeling like your life is in transition is that anything is possible. It’s only onwards and upwards from here.