Welcome to life in 2020. Never could have imagined I’d get married during a global pandemic before three guests (the rest were on Zoom) and spend our honeymoon largely at our new, thankfully very cute apartment in Madison. Being married feels surprisingly normal and not that different than the week before when I was the only one living in our new apt, but Alfred was over here from morning till night, only leaving to go to his place to sleep. My only regret is not getting married earlier! Wish we could’ve spent more time married, maybe beat this global pandemic, just a few weeks earlier and our guests could’ve come in person.
Little discoveries from our almost 1 week of marriage:
- Temperature preference differences: He get’s hot so easily! During the middle of the night, his side of the bed feels like a furnace under the blankets, while the sheets on my side are cool to the touch. He’s always wanting to open our balcony door to let in cool air, while I’m cold and wanting to close it.
- I can’t be as cheap as I want anymore. I’m used to being very frugal, even as my salary has risen I’m still used to living like a poor grad student. Alfred likes nice things and wanted to buy a 2k couch, a 1k plus flatscreen. We compromised, so we didn’t buy the cheapest couch, but one that’s worth the money and high quality. We got a 1k couch from Article whose arrival we eagerly await. (Alfred’s comment I make it sound like he wants to live lavishly, which he doesn’t. We can afford these things, I just loathe to spend the money).
- I also can’t be as messy as I want anymore or take over all the space in the apt. Last week when I lived here on my own, Alfred said, “Don’t make this your man cave.” How I’d put my stuff in the bathroom cabinet was not up to his neat standard. I knew him well enough to hold off on organizing the kitchen, because of course he had a plan for the best places for items.
- I’m being watched. If I’m not focusing on work, there’s someone to comment on and observe me. If I’m not using the best cooking or cleaning methods, Alfred wants to come over and help. Reminds me of the song I sang in youth group, something like, You’re not alone, He follows you, all through thick or thin. . He is there.
- We have different social needs. Alfred is content in shelter in place. He could do this for months. I feel trapped at home and hate not being able to see friends, go to meetings. I miss gatherings of any sort!! I miss my office and my co-workers.
While we’re two very different people, marriage is fun and I recommend it. As an extrovert, I couldn’t have survived shelter in place by myself in an apt. I still want a pet though and we joke about kidnapping the neighbor’s goldendoodle when we hear it barking.