Odd things trigger my sadness. This morning as I was praying and reading over the morning revival on Christ and the church and how the love between God and His people is primarily like the affectionate love between a man and a woman, I didn’t want to continue reading. I know it sounds odd, but it reminded me of my breakup and what I don’t have anymore. So I stopped reading and prayed instead.
Yet other days like yesterday are pretty blissful. I was out the whole day, at church, at a lunch in Evanston at a house with a dog and then ice skating and dinner downtown with a group of friends from church and my roommate. It felt like my ex didn’t exist and my breakup hadn’t happened.
Enough about him. The twinges of sadness do pass and come back and pass again. Everyone keeps telling me it takes time. Life takes time. Accomplishing my goals is tied to the passage of time. I’ve applied to new jobs and journalism fellowships, but it takes time to hear back. It takes time to meet someone new. I’ll admit I’m impatient and wish time would speed up to those moments. The time where I can get my own permanent pet, instead of pet-sitting for friends.
But there’s only grace for today. Read my friend’s touching blog post on not adding unnecessary pain to your life with worrying or anxiety. Worrying accomplishes nothing except getting yourself all worked up about how your current life doesn’t look like the one you want. It doesn’t help you get there. Doing things, applying to jobs, showing up to life and meeting people, and pursuing opportunities, does.
If you’re reading, whoever you are, I welcome your feedback and any suggestions for what to write about!